In particular it's fun to listen to Washington talk. George Carlin on Voting Transcript Now there's one thing you might have noticed i don't complain about: politicians. You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. But that would be much too direct! George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Then share it far and wide with the little green button. endobj They don't care about the planet. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. You enjoy yourselves; itll be a lot of fun. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Likethe public. You enjoy yourselves. But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. Apparently, his last ballot was cast in 1972for McGovern. Thats right. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. And of course, they're all looking for that dopamine hit of getting likes and comments from people who agree with them. Because at the end of the day, social media is just a bunch of zeros and ones floating around in cyberspace. I dont vote. 'Look at me, I'm so happy and successful and loved!' They are irrelevant. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. xref Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. <>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> . Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). Thats a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks! George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. 0000002288 00000 n Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). We'll start with the first three, and I'll use the Roman Catholic version because those are the ones I was fed as a little boy. stream There's a whole world out there waiting for you, and it's much more interesting than anything you'll find on social media.". TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. George Carlin Discusses 'Silly Putty and Napalm' Aired June 08, 2001 - 21:00 ET. endobj This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. George Carlin - Euphemisms I don't like words that hide the truth. This is what we have to offer. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. Better yet, and more ironic, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' I'm getting tired of that shit. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) And not that you can help it, I mean the problem is really with the people you cover. You wanna know what a friend is? Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me. Well, we know what they want. I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. You know what they want? Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. The PEOPLE are fucked. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. Power, Politics & American Sports [transcript] [VIDEO CLIP] Jesse Owens: To me, politics has no part to play on the field of strife of . Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. <>stream Everybody says they suck. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? They got you by the balls. FUCK THEM. "Forget the politicians. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. POLITICIAN:SERVING THE NATION. Web. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? POLITICIAN:WERE ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM AND WE'LL SOON BE PROCEEDING. endobj 0000001936 00000 n 193 0 obj The table has tilted folks. This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. But he wasn't always a . Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. The planet is fine. _S@bZ&j{|pQGB0qw_rm+eUr!:J9d j9mLJRL Q3PUn\#MuRJ\ *B6B6x This is the best we can do, folks. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. The planet has been here four and a half billion years. Nobody seems to care. You have no right to complain. A friend is someone you can count on. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? endobj Search. You don't. You have no choice. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. And we've all bought into it. Every time. 189 0 obj And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. endstream Maybe something else sucks around here. I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). But here's the thing: social media isn't real life. (LAUGHS) PROCEEDING. Theres a reason. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. If you are interested in using one of my images for your website, or if you would like a print, please contact me directly (See the Contact tab). ,G0p%:::400-: @%L`n((lax@\0eF,q] \ .P+4 d3;P hnN*S fxsH>XDAA#beae:i5rY3h11(31013a_p_&]37CD\&k2N@TD}. 0000015335 00000 n x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq K|CQWO_nT]}wbvASBT=tE.t6C}qC)onmg2uAWq|9xLSg Several reasons. They own everything. Personally, I think we still need to hoist our fannies perpendicular and hike ourselves to the ballet box for all elections. Please validate my existence. I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . As I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. They're your followers. )'B^E_2yKg&. Two reasons. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. Their own habitat. Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. 0000006309 00000 n Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. Carlin is usually spot on. Forget the politicians. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! But it's all a facade. Your email address will not be published. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. That's the problem in this country too many people getting on with their lives. Two reasons I dont vote. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. Nothing wrong with the planet. 187 0 obj A clean place to live. They OWN YOU. Its what our system produces. In this paper, I examine George Carlin's stance on . No one has PROBLEMS anymore. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. Whatever happened WellWell he's about to find out! George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). You and I are not in the big club. Press J to jump to the feed. The planet has been through a lot worse than us. But here's the thing: you don't need social media to be happy. Maybe you'll find some of the features useful , Ignore this comment if your post doesn't have a prompt. I'M SERVING THE NATION. I just wanna put this behind me and that's an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of lives. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. Complete biography of George Carlin . I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. As I say, they're my work, they're my . 0000015151 00000 n THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. The transcripts I could find always sucked. Now hes on the side of law and order, jiu jitsu really: POLITICIAN:WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SO WE CAN GET THE FACTS OUT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? People go on there, they play with the animals, they pet them, they feed them, but they don't get any real interaction. [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. Let's get started! Marc Allan: Hi. Everybody complains about politicians. He and his "seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. This is not good work. Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. Ive read it dozens of times. [FINAL NOTE: If you want to dig deeper into Carlins brilliant mind vis--vis comments on politicians and the doublespeak they are prone to use, check out The Consultation Institutes George Carlin on the language of politics. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. American stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. Nobody cares. (LAUGHS). Something is wrong here. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. I think what we really need more of is ritual suicide, you know. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". Two is all you need, folks. Isnt it a bit ironic, though, that the audience is laughing at all this when, essentially, Carlin is saying to them, directly to their faces, that they are stupid? To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. 188 0 obj So put down your phone, step away from the computer, and go out into the world. endobj As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. Its a big club, and you aint in it! trailer The table is tilted folks. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. While you're here, we have a public discord server. And by the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n You know, say, boy, he really . Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. They speak of course with great caution, because they must take care not to actually say anything. So let me tell you something. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? So Ive made what i hope is a more readable version below, so this classic piece of polemical gold can be shared and understood more widely. Its called the American Dream,because you have to be asleep to believe it. Then you're just what they're looking for. Nobody seems to care! Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. I say that where the military is concern the extent of a POLITICIANS insincerity can be measured by how far around the world our soldiers are stationed and whether or not any of them(POLITICIANS) can pronounce it? 0 So self-important. GEORGE CARLIN: I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. Because the owners, the owners of this country dont want that. Everybody says they suck. George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. It's a big club, and you ain't in it. The planet is fine. Dog, Cat, Thinking. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. % Religion. Carlin is funny as hell. (LAUGHS). George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). I dont vote. We're addicted to the attention, the likes, the validation. Updated on May 30, 2018. Everybody's going to save something now. From Life Is Worth Losing. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. Who in fact did not even leave the house on election-day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every RIGHT to complain as loud as I want, about the mess YOU created, that I had nothing to do with. Funny, Humor, Beer. No contest. Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Fuck em! That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Yeah the public sucks. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . His parents split up when he was an infant because his . startxref (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. They want obedient workers. These are the websites where people go to express themselves, right? Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". Oh boy. Beep Boop, this was generated by by ChatGPT. 0000002011 00000 n Now, folks, a question for you. Nobody cares. Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. They're not your friends. They own everything. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Nobody cares what you had for breakfast, or what your cat did, or what your opinion is on the latest political scandal. And then there's the political posts. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. Everyone experiences pain, of course. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! 203 0 obj I don't words that conceal reality. We don't need that many. 0000003901 00000 n Thats against their interests. The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . So, maybemaybemaybe its not the politicians who suck. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. If it's a really serious matter, they make a JUDGMENT: POLITICIAN: I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. 0000005590 00000 n 0000053233 00000 n You know what they're interested in? I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? Some parents deserve respect. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33, 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA. They come from American parents, American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, American universities, and theyre elected by American citizens. "In America, anyone can become president. ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. Well where do people think these politicians come from? George Carlin: I'm in Hollywood, Los Angeles. It is a crisis of confidence', Crisis of Confidence speech - 1979 , Jon Stewart: "They responded in five seconds", 9-11 first responders, Address to Congress - 2019, Jacinda Ardern: 'They were New Zealanders. 4 0 obj This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. George Carlin: In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by . George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. ', Defense of 2nd Spanish Republic - 1936, Jimmy Reid: 'A rat race is for rats. << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> Suddenly we're down to four. Carlin, for 40-years, was one of the greatest comedians ever. 124 Copy quote. These people on social media, they're not your friends. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. POLITICIAN:I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD MADE A JUDGMENT. Good honest hard-working people continue, these are people of modest means, continue to elect these rich cock suckers who dont give a fuck about you.they dont give a fuck about you they dont give a FUCK about you. `XX /;VU}`M%VO #5Zfb-> Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. People just spewing their uninformed opinions and insults at each other. I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. Trump Follower? %%EOF In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. George Carlin: How you doing? Difference. And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. "We're so self-important. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Well where do people think these politicians come from? Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. That's a friend. Are these fucking people kidding me? Quick Guide. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. It will be a lot of fun. Everybody says they suck. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. They should be based on the parents' performance. They own you. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(English Language and Literature Commons)/Rect[137.2383 212.4906 328.3613 224.2094]/StructParent 5/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Fuck hope! A friend is someone who will come over and help you move. Tired of that shit. 190 0 obj As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. See they don't DECIDE; they DETERMINE. I'M NOT SURE; I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET (LAUGHS). George Carlin: Dumb Americans. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. Im talking about the real owners now, the BIG owners! endobj Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. Not in the abstract they don't. Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. They want your retirement money. m o n t c l a i r . THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? We dont have people like that in this country. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. The Secret News (News ticker sound effect), Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus, Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines. He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. From his 1992 (first ever LIVE) HBO TV special "Jammin' in New York", performed in from of 6,500 people at Madison Square Gardens. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." Thats what the owners count on. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Watch on George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999 Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. It would seem to fly in the face of that other rhetorical standby that: POLITICIAN:THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE LOT SMARTER THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR. 0000002803 00000 n Maybe two hundred thousand? Were fucked. And the worst part is that social media has become a platform for outrage and self-righteousness. Comedian George Carlin, who died Sunday of heart failure at 71, was known for an act featuring "seven dirty words" that became the focus of a Supreme Court case. Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. D} 8 &L$` %pPyZnC*ss9Qm^-u~Y]5;D- p?Ds+A$%C"CXU@5M`mO=YK6l[f0xc5j D6C"NMUCDV#[7q&>O!WsDm~ |!=?H^wM $M:w085uk8OaP;,p|Jp@H0 O#NE\f&KXl1DHq0,>b4A !oPfcmxe5)l*1x,g FC[A9u71-tILKA n_B--jxQjB,=oINnh;> R# }bO 7?|`M S(5OdC0#K1EH-Llj[~y' c7ozi=w,PP&e~g$2! *@@Gh!'[G F.r *N-@LoX15XvGA4#Wb_"$,%%8@2% All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy.

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