We're totally the "you made a really awesome kid" kid. Here, have a carrot! Why not get started now? Smorse Code. A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. Are you a box of chocolate? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". Food Puns. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. A man found a magic lamp on the beach. Because he wants to become a smartie. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. He rubs it and a genie appears. Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Michael Levine, nutrition researcher. Darling I will supply you with stash of sweets and my never ending love for you. Its something that should be had on a daily basis. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. What do you call female chocolate? Deborah Fox-Rothschild. Tap To Copy. Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. What are you talking about? I hope your having gelato fun on your birthday! Knock knock! - Dr. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. Whos there? Plane Chocolate! The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. "For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds." The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! Do you know why?Son: I dont know. A Kit Kat! Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. Why the Grinch wanted to live alone with his dog. Chocolate is natures way of making up for Mondays. The man says, "And the Viagra?" He turned into a box of chocolates. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. You definitely taste better than chocolate. Donut worry, be happy! Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. Dairy, who? Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. A: Theyre too hard to peel. Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd? The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" Chocolate Chip Wookiee. Why not! Available on Etsy. What is the opposite of Chocolate? Mel Gibson, Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. You know youre a chocoholic if, when the leaves change in the fall, you start gathering Almond Joy candy bars for the coming winter. He slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and, with even greater effort, forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. Ouch you are giving me a good kind of toothache just because of your sweetness. I do not think it is possible but you are sweeter than all the chocolate in the world. I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn't that funny So I just snickered. Are you chocolate? my favorite is the m&m racist oe lol why are there no white m&ms. Nibbling would be enough for now because I would like to save you forever. Whos there? Are you a box of chocolate? Are you chocolate? It is crazy, the way you make this heart beat faster the way only sweets can do to me. Enjoy. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. Sense of Humor. He says "I'd like a kipper tie please". More Funny Jokes. It can make us feel loved. Women *wink wink*. A Candy Baa. A: To get chocolate milk. Better late than never, right? Cause mocha is made from two of my favorite food in the world. Use these chocolate related pick up lines about different types of chocolate like candy bars, donuts, cake, drinks, and more. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. Baby youre so sweet youd put Hershey's out of business! Not only that, aside from being delicious and beneficial, it can also be hilarious. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Babe, you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? ChocoLATE One large, ongoing study of the benefits of exercise found that men who eat chocolate in moderation live longer than those who eat none. And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. Sniggas. - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. When no one understands you, chocolate is there. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. "Keeps him from falling out of bed. In yet another Laugh Factory gaffe in July 2012, Daniel Tosh found himself the subject of intense public pressure after joking about a gang rape. Louis Lemery, 1702, The divine drink which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? John Milton, The Devils Advocate. Did you hear about the affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? A PayDay. If you're looking for dirty, lowbrow and totally hilarious deez nuts jokes, you're in the right place! 4. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. I am always ready for something sweet like you. If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp. 1 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scooter: Haunted Explorations - Overnight Challenge - Exploring With Josh! Peter Rogers, Ph.D., Institute of Food Research. Required fields are marked *. I love hole foods. To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. Best Deez Nuts Jokes. Whats the opposite of choco-late? Chocolate Chip Wookiee. She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" You make everything taste better just like cocoa. "People think I hate sex. After she did it, I proceeded to eat it explaining that chocolate wasnt good for dogs. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." 1. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. Whats a monkeys favourite kind of chocolate? Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sweetie I can be your sweets in this world full of bitter people. I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. . I learned to love sweets because of you and I am thankful for that. You have this certain snap that made me notice you just like how I know a good bar from bad. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Why was the candy bar confused? What do you call a womanising chocolate? What did the Hersheys bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate? Candy! 10) Dirty Harry: A middle-aged septic tank maintenance man with an aversion to bathing and a love of off-color jokes is taken by surprise as his family and friends stage an intervention. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? Youre hot, and I want to be on top of you. Eat a square meal a day a box of chocolate. The Greek term theobroma (Latin name for cacao) means literally food of the gods. The prisoners thought they wouldnt be any good, but they were. Because I would like one kiss from you. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? You have this effect on me I only feel upon eating chocolate. Let's bake it happen! Hot fudge fills deep needs. I do not need a ganache on my cake because you are enough sweet for me. the best of dirty verbal jokes that will coil your toes , take up the challenge not to laugh, try not to laugh, I do recommend a piece of good-quality dark chocolate as a healthy snack . Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden my Starburst! Coffee Jokes. What's the best part of Valentines Day? Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. A little too much chocolate is just about right. Exercise is a dirty word Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. But she ate every letter in her name and left me with COCOA. Katharine Hepburn. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. A cad-bury. So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. He rubbed it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. Nothing is more romantic than chocolate. You and I were mint to be! We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Knock, knock.Whos there?Chalk.Chalk who?Chocolate is my favourite flavour ice cream. First, invade ze kitchen. ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. Why did the candy bar cross the road? Get ready, because you will go ape over these banana puns: 1. Hey Cookie, you're the sweetest. The young man loved peanuts. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? She died.". Chocolate Chewbacca cookies! Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk? What do cannibals eat for dessert? We can feel a lot of emotions when we eat chocolate. Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. Men are like Chocolate Bars. Q: Why dont they make white M&Ms? 84. They had a baby, Ruth. Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. 6. Jokes, A new British survey has revealed that 9 out of 10 people like Chocolate. A marsbar! Health Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. There was a convertible. Hershey Common and the Heat Ray. #3. A Choco-Light! When people dessert you, eat ice cream! There was a sign next to it saying, "what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down". I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast. Can you be my mocha? Because he wanted to be a Smarty. Drink it cold. A marsbar! What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Stay out of those, said his wife, theyre for the funeral., A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" How do you make a pool table laugh? All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? Its summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if youre feeling the heat. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? Do you like it dark or milky? Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. He rubs it and a genie appears. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to . A Skor! You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!" Its strengthening, restorative, and apt to repair decayed strength and make people strong. Currently you have JavaScript disabled. ", A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. They believe its the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catching drawer of the dryer? Babe can I get a cookie that tastes like you? Because he wanted to be a Smarty. Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar? What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Milk Jokes. She also ate every letter in her name, but left me feeling good: oo! A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. I only eat chocolate for you, so there will be more of me to love. Hes a chocolate lab. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. A rocky road! I feel the rush upon eating chocolate whenever I hold your hand. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Every jokes so funny I am enjoying your jokes and best of luck for new jokes. Why? Your email address will not be published. Knock knock! A mootation. Want to see those? It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. She had Josie 's classic hairdo (complete with a tiny bow), and was a girlfriend of Reggie. He had a chip in his tooth. After about 20 years of marriage, Im finally starting to scratch the surface of that one [what women want]. I used to hate sweets but I came to love those because of you. These cute and funny Valentine's Day sayings are sweeter than chocolate and guaranteed to make your loved ones (both kids and adults) LOL all day long. Game for some sexy chocolate jokes? There are many jokes about chocolate bars and chocolate cookies in our selection, so its a bit like opening a box of chocolates. To get chocolate milk. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. What do you call a womanising chocolate? Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. Why? The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve! You can also listen to t. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? I promise Ill make you forget all the bad things this day brought by being your stash if sweet. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Cao-cao!On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born?In the Gateaux (ghetto)!What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A Ferrari Rocher!Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?He was nutty!What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A Bounty-ful!Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A Skor!What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?3 Musketeers!Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A Butterfinger!What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid!Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party?One thats choco-lit!What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A Choco-Light!Why did the candy bar cross the road?Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?Snickers he only snickers!What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A chocolate chip cutie!What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A candy baaaaa-r!Why was the candy bar confused?Because she was a Her-She-y bar!What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?PayDay! 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, Funny Mum jokes DADS cannot compete against. When I met you my craving for something sweet stop. A Double Decker. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. But chocolates chocolate. God is watching the apples. Joe Vinson, Ph.D., University of Scranton, Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the worlds perfect food. I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. Whos there? A Mars bar. You look like you could use some hot chocolate Well, I got some sweet white chocolate. Because I would love to make up for if you let me. My favorite is the old man trying to get to the chocolate chip cookies. Imogen who? The latest good news for chocolate lovers comes from a study indicating that flavonoids in chocolate are good for your heart. What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate? Do not Disturb! So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. Baby I would trade the entire candy bar in the world for you. Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. University of California-Berkeley Wellness Letter, We already know that increased consumption of fruits and vegetables results in an increase of antioxidants in our blood. If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. 5. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I heard you are a chocolate lover I guess we are compatible darling. Your email address will not be published. CNN . I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? Its my favorite feeling. So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. What does it do before it rains candy?It sprinkles!Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off.One said Happy Easter! What did the other one say? For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse. My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate. The perfect Valentines Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone). Shock-o-lat. I would gladly love what you sweet foods just to get to your heart. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. "Don't worry, son. And I don't love chocolate. Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. A: Ask him to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. 1940s-early 1960s [ edit] Cora: A brown-haired girl who appeared only in single-page comic strips in the 1960s. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? How dairy.Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.What kind of bar is kid friendly? . I love chocolate to eat. 2. Ready for some chocolate jokes? Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Those are really cool jokes man and the quotes are awesome, Amazing..Im craving chocolate now.drool drool, Imogen all the people We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. ", and the jamaican said " mek wi go back to the store,me ago show yuh a who a the real tief". Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. A pound a day often. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. How dairy steal my chocolate! What do you call an extra sweet cookie? PayDay! Cocoa-Nuts. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Life is what you bake it. Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts, Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.So I try to eat healthy.But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.What type of snack is never on time?Choco-late.My cousin works in a chocolate shop.He works behind the bar.Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.They believe its Pharaoh Roche.My son is three years old and I took him shopping.When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.Now, I didnt buy it and he certainly didnt buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.I asked if I could have 2.He said, No.